LONELINESS: What Can You Do For Someone That Is Lonely Around The Holidays (Or For Yourself If You Feel Lonely)

PODCAST Published on: November 29, 2019 at 3:23 PM
Loneliness is tough and way too much of it happens every day- especially around the holidays. You can change someone’s life with a simple text or by sharing this podcast. You CAN HELP OTHERS and YOU CAN CHOOSE TO NOT BE LONELY. Either way, listen, learn, practice— make an impact.

Much love,


Hello, everyone and Happy Thanksgiving weekend. It is the day after Thanksgiving. Yes, I know. They call it Black Friday. I know that stuff kind of drives me crazy. But it is that day. And if you’re shopping, I hope you’re finding great deals. Personally, I went out for a 10 mile run and it was just absolutely absolutely delightful. I went and met some friends before that. But I’m actually here today to talk about what can you do for people that are lonely around the holidays? I want to ask you to please help me change the lives of other people. I cannot do this alone. I need your help. And the way you can help me change lives is by sharing this podcast. help someone else share this podcast, send it to them. Look at my other episodes. Maybe there’s a specific Episode that you want people to hear that you think might resonate with someone, please just help me out because I just can’t do it by myself. I can’t reach enough people. And I want to make a difference. I have chosen to dedicate my life to helping others. So I really need you to help me do that. I really appreciate it. Just want to let you know that I appreciate you. And I so appreciate you listening. And I hope that you get something out of this. So I want to dig into again, what can you do for people that are lonely around

the holidays?

Well, firstly, I mean, who do you know, that might be alone. I know that we get caught up in our own activities, you know or own things that are going on and sometimes can completely forget that a good friend or maybe a family member

is alone.

You know, you Yesterday I I wasn’t alone I I spent some time with some friends actually had some friends over to my home. And we had a little friends giving because all my family’s back home in Tennessee. But I reached out to my family and I sent them a little video I done a taking a little video of a rainbow that I saw while I was on a hike yesterday morning and it was just beautiful. And I sent it to them and said, you know, Happy Thanksgiving, it was a text group texting. And they wrote back most of them wrote back I love you all that good stuff. It was amazing. And then I’m like, Hey, hey, send me some photos. Even though I’m not lonely.

I still want

the family photos.

So imagine for someone who is


Like, I wasn’t feeling

lonely. I still wanted the photos. There are people who feel lonely and even just a text message. This has, you know, read something like Hi, how are you happy Thanksgiving was thinking of you. Anything a phone call? Could you take five minutes out of your day to make an impact in someone’s life and let them know you’re thinking about them. You love them

anything, it could make a difference.

I know this because it was a

period of my life when I went through a lot of depression and during that time, I felt really lonely. And when a holiday came around, it was worse. Thanksgivings one of those because I rarely am able to go home for Thanksgiving now that I live on the West Coast here in San Diego and my family is back in Tennessee. I do go home for Christmas but Thanksgiving is typically or used to be difficult. It’s not any longer but when I was going through Depression, it was really tough. And I really miss my family. And I’m not going to pretend I mean I I’ve had some, some times when I

was sobbing,

like I felt that lonely like rock in my stomach, lonely, but that was when I was going through depression.

And a lot of people, they don’t

even have to go through depression to feel lonely. So you got to keep that in mind. And maybe you could take a few minutes of your time. Think about who do I know, that doesn’t have any family wherever they live,

who do I know that might be alone.

I actually it’s kind of funny. I had plans for Thanksgiving that kind of fell through like something changed up and someone had invited me to join them and their family and there were some changes in our scheduling and in the I just decided, Hey, who do I know? That you know, we usually do a friendsgiving every year like I have I even I realized I had not reached out to my own friends. So I did and invited them to my place. And it was it was awesome. Like it was just an wonderful gathering, we had dinner, and just relax. We laughed.

It was just so good.

I made sure to think about as many people as I could that live near me that might want to come. Now again, you don’t have to think about people. You don’t have to invite people to your house. These are the people that you can think of might not even live near you. Anybody would appreciate a text a phone call or whatever. Like you gotta just you know, one person commit to reaching out to one person this weekend and over the next few weeks even as we lead up to Christmas. But I reached out to a couple of people that I knew might not be, have anywhere to go or whatever. And

though they actually did,

they were so appreciative

that I invited them.

And how hard was that?

I invited them because I wanted to. And I wanted to reach out and I wanted to make sure that they knew they had a safe place to go, where they could be loved, and just have a good relaxing time

with others.

So it just doesn’t matter if you know exactly what you do. You don’t have to have a big gathering at your house or gathering at all, but a phone call or something is super important. So let’s dig into why a little more. What happens when people are depressed, and then the holidays come around. And again, it doesn’t require holiday for them to feel this way so you can reach out to people Any time, but the holidays are more intense. And it’s really important that we remember that there’s a lot of fear in those who feel depressed around the holidays, and what that fear is, or for me anyway, when I again this has been a few years ago, I’ve worked really hard to not, you know, be depressed and to come out of that and, and to find a new way of thinking in my life. That’s why I talked about it. But that fear, for me was attested not want to bother other people.

It can feel like

you’re bothering other people. I never wanted to put anyone in a position to feel like they had to invite me to their house. I mean, that’s awkward. Who wants to do that? Right? It would be pretty uncomfortable. And I do remember there. Maybe it’s only been once or twice when I was in Not with anyone for the holidays. And I do remember being pretty sad and crying and just as like, not in my stomach of pain, but you know, it was related to a lot more obviously. Because I was in a depressed state, but you just got to remember that you could really change someone’s life because that sadness can really envelop a person’s mind in a pretty big way. I was so fortunate that I chose to live my life differently. I

knew that I could,

but I had to start believing it and once I believed that I could change my life.

It all started happening.

You all know that I’ve worked really hard at changing my mindset, taking care of myself so that I can give back to others, setting goals, all of these things work together. Once I stopped putting the emphasis on myself,

it really shifted.

That sounds easy, but it wasn’t


When we are going through very difficult times or we’ve been through tragedies and I’ve been through quite a few but you know, one in particular, the big one, which is the loss of my four and a half month old son.

When you

go through tragedies like that, it takes a lot more effort, a lot more effort, and it’s hard. It’s hard to believe you end up feeling like a victim. You can end up feeling like

No one cares.

Even though that’s not true,

but your brain starts to believe these things and when you’re lonely around the holidays, it is heightened. Like it’s like times 1000. Like it’s really big. And that’s why it’s super important that you reach out

to anybody, you know.


took for me that mental shift

of realizing that I’m not a victim, and that I am worthy, I am lovable. I am, you know, awesome in this world, that I do have things to give back to others that I am valuable.

It took a lot of that,

to get me to shift my mindset from it being you know, internalizing that and thinking that it’s all about me and that I wasn’t where they had to shift all that and that is when I stopped Feeling lonely. So you can actually help someone, even more than just making that phone call, you might be able to have this conversation with them, you might be able to share

this story or you might have a story

about how you’ve changed the way you think.

But that is where that is where it really happens when you shift it from thinking about yourself. And Whoa, is me and oh my god, and I’m not saying like, I validate all feelings, believe me, I totally do. And a lot of people have to go through that stage in order to get to the other side.

But the part I’m trying to, you know, get

to here and then I want to resonate with you or someone you know,

is that

it requires you making the choice to start practicing thinking a different way.

You have to practice it.

I practice it every single day.

Over time, if you do practice it, it becomes so incredibly natural becomes who you are. And so who I am today is better than yesterday. And yesterday was a better better than the day before. Like that’s how it works. You just get better and better and stronger and stronger and you just fall into this beautiful. Oh, it’s just the most gorgeous place of living. I am so excited about it. Can you tell? I’m so

excited that

I want to share it with you, I want you to know about it. So the holidays can be really lonely. You can change that to or someone you

know can change that.

So your phone call to someone or your text could be the first step to that shift.

That mind shift

that they’re looking for

It is possible because

I’m not special in any way. There’s no reason that, you know, just I am just an example of someone who has chosen to live their life in a more joyful way. Because that’s what I want. I would be hard pressed to think that you don’t want that to, or that you don’t want that for your friend or your neighbor or a family member or your son or daughter.

It is possible for anyone

but they gotta want it and they got to work at it.

And it’s how you live your life.

It’s, it’s truly phenomenal. I can’t Gosh, I just wish I could like, it’s so hard to describe how amazing

this is.

And I want

you to extend I want anyone you know that might feel lonely, sad, depressed to experience this learn

techniques learn how

to change

their life.

They can, you can.

So I want to go back to where we started here.

What can you do for people that are lonely or I actually kind of want to tag? Add this if you are lonely yourself. So what can you do for people that that are lonely around the holidays or somebody that you might know call them, text them, invite them over? Ask him if they want to have a cup of coffee, anything, just reach out, make a connection. Okay, easiest thing, you can do that. So think of one person this weekend that you can reach out to and maybe you drop that person’s name down and you reach out to them again.

In a week, or when it gets close to Christmas,

or tomorrow, I mean, you don’t have to stop there, but at least make an effort one person. That’s all I’m asking. If you are that person that is lonely.

I’m going to actually ask you

to take a deep breath.

And to think about

the fact that you can choose to not feel that way.

I know it’s not that easy.

But you can work very hard at changing your mindset. The first thing I would probably tell you to do is to at this very moment, you’re going to start believing in yourself. And when negativity comes into your head,

you’re going to recognize

it. Embrace it for a second in terms of Hey, there’s that negative voice again, that negative Negative voices driving me crazy making me sad, causing me to cry, whatever it is scream, I don’t know. And then acknowledge that you don’t like how that feels. That’s what we’re trying to change. We have to change that. Because who wants to feel depressed, sad, lonely? Nobody? No one. So acknowledge that you don’t like that and then think about Okay, what can I do to shift that thought?

And perhaps what you can do is simply say,

I am loved. I am worthy and I refuse to believe anything else. To start with that, every time that negative thought comes in every single time

it will be

you’re going to experience some amazing things. If You can just start there.

And then I want to challenge you

to go do something.

And I know you can feel like you just don’t want to but try or call somebody call a friend, call a family member. I mentioned my aunt before. She was really there during a really dark time in my life. And she was that person that I could call and I could cry and she still like, you know, she didn’t judge me here any of that, which we shouldn’t judge anybody but I know people do. But she was that person that just let How could just let it out and it was so good. It was so good to have that person. So if you’ve got that person, go for it. Or you know what, go get in the shower, freshen up and go have a cup of tea at a coffee shop nearby and

just be in the presence of other people.


go meet your friends for that run tomorrow morning.

Just get out sometimes it really helps to just be in public around other people, and just be content with yourself. Believe. Okay, so I wasn’t necessarily planning on going there. But you know, this podcast has led me to that place of giving you guys something to do if you’re feeling down during the holidays, but if you know somebody that might be feeling that way, share this podcast with them. You know, maybe that’s the easiest thing to do. Like, hey, thought, have you been thinking about you? You might like this podcast. I don’t know. I mean, you just gonna have to make some choices there. But at least text somebody call them. I think you guys get the picture by now. I want you to know how much I appreciate you. I’m grateful for you. You are driving this podcast for me. You are making it happen because you’re believing in these stories. You get it. You under Because the real stories, real stuff happening, we got to share our stories in order to make an impact in the lives of others. And that’s what I want to do. So share it helped me out. And also I’m super excited about an interview that I’m doing tomorrow. So I’m not going to tell you too much because I don’t want to give it away. But coming up as an interview with an amazing woman who has gone through a lot, she’s been an athlete her entire life. And she’s dealt with a lot of addictions, eating disorders, exercising too much. some crazy stuff, and I’m just super excited to hear what she is going to share with us because she’s also on a mission to help the lives of others and it’s just a perfect fit for the you podcast because we are here to create you your own utopia. Thank you again. Have a great week. Get

Transcribed by https://otter.ai